Let me tell you the tale of a lantern. I’m sure you’ve never heard a more exciting introduction but bear with me, this is one of those posts where I go deep, yo.
When I came back from Los Angeles in September last year I was still waiting to hear from a really big agency that I met with days before flying back. All I could think about was getting that agent, applying for my visa and moving back to LA again.
Shortly after my return in the Netherlands I celebrated my birthday with some friends and family, and one of my aunts had gotten me one of those Thai wishing lanterns. When night fell we went outside to the garden at my parents’ place, and as we lit the fire of the lantern I silently made a wish. Everyone knew what the wish was of course, but then something happened…
Or actually, nothing happened. We had apparently held the lantern down too long and it never took off. Then deodorant was sprayed to grow the flamed which burned the entire lantern to a crisp. I also didn’t sign with the agency. Not that I believe in such things, but still. The nine months that followed were very tough. Pregnancy is no joke. Wait, what? Just kidding. The nine months were tough because I was living with my parents at 23, had no certainty of a visa, nothing to look forward to and was doing a very mind-numbing job in a very depressing office. On top of that winter in the Netherlands lasted forever. I so vividly remember being on my bike in the snow in the dark, on the way to work, trying to stay optimistic.
But I’m so grateful for those nine months, because they taught me something that I really needed to know before moving to LA. They taught me to keep myself sane by making a morning workouts a habit. They taught me to control my temper. They taught me to find happiness within myself, instead of in circumstances. They taught me how much writing means to me.
Most of all, they taught me which things matter in life.
For years I had been so focused on my visa and my acting career. I thought those were the things I needed to be happy. That without them there would be no life for me. But staying with my parents for nine months, watching my friends’ lives evolve, something inside changed.
At my moving-to-LA goodbye party for family my aunt got me a Thai wishing lantern again, as she had said she would. Night fell, and once more we went outside and lit the lantern. I made a wish in silence again, and everyone thought they knew what it was: the acting career and the visa, just like it had always been. But they were wrong.
As the lantern’s fire lit up and rose into the night sky, I wished for my loved ones to stay healthy and happy. For my mom and dad and sister and friends.
Somewhere in those nine months I had come to realize that an acting career wouldn’t mean much if there would be nobody around to share my happiness with. I realized that The Beatles really were onto something: all you need is love. Well, maybe it’s not all I need; the film fanatic inside me will always want to work inside the film industry for piece of mind, but you get the point.
Don’t lose sight of love. Of family and friends. After all, an Oscar speech is empty without anyone to thank.
Amazing…read this in one breath..
I’m thinking that you could make a living as a writer. And I’m impressed with your web site-your way ahead of me with this sort of magic.
I lived in LA for a while and will be moving back one day to do what we do. Check out Patrick Cronin resume for fun and inspiration. He never was a star but has worked steady for a long time. And successful enough to live in Hancock Park. Any way you where so cool with your adventures that I sent your page to a young lady in Milano, Italy who wants to come to America–LA that is. I taught her a few years back (english) and we done this little skit together to help teach others and was she so in to it. Made me step mine up, christ! I hope she e-mails you for advice or just reads your page–you (from what I read) and Ms. Santini (ya got to love those over-seas names) have that special gift of–no fear–talking about getting up and going, traveling. So many Americans never leave their own state. She has been around the world. Got to love people like that. I do not tweet but I do that mind boggling FB– if you wish to give her a big Netherland shout out. Its all good-and as they say, break a leg. Keep the pages coming because one day you will be so busy you want have time:) laws of attraction, try it you might like it. Peace
Prachtig Shanice, wat een mooi stuk.
En wat heerlijk voor je dat beide wensen in principe bezig zijn met uitkomen.
Geniet!
Veel liefs
<3
Prachtig sha
Great read! So true about love being all you need.
And thank you for sharing. I think we often find we don’t want to tell everyone about the hard times, as it shows our vulnerabilities but this is all we really want to know about as humans to connect.
Love reading about your journey!
Lieve dochter, wat een mooie woorden!
We houden van je en er gaat geen dag voorbij dat we niet aan je denken! We zijn trots op je zoals jij bent in het leven staat.
Lovely piece you wrote here Shanice. Lights shine the brightest in the dark.
Your best blog so far !
Geweldig Shanice, je bent een talent, en ik ken dat gevoel zo goed!! xoxo
“An Oscar speech is empty without anyone to thank ;)”
Die kan zo op een wandtegeltje ;)
Nice blog yet again! Love reading about your journey!
Made me think of a beautiful film (i.e. Into The Wild):
“Happiness only real when shared” (Christopher McCandless)
Thank you for your weekly/monthly inspiration.
I get the whole “all you need is love” thing, but circumstances do play a part in one’s happiness. Surely you’re happier now that you have moved to Los Angeles, compared to when you were still living in the Netherlands. Right?
Hi Gaby, of course they play a part, I never denied that, but the part they play shouldn’t be too big. Aside from really big stuff, it’s mostly how you deal with circumstances that matters.
“It’s mostly how you deal with circumstances that matters”.
I’ll try to remember that. Thanks :-)
heel goed geschreven… veel succes met wat je dan ook gaat doen. ciao!
I want to say thanks because everytime I have a big doubt and I start to feel hopeless, I can always go to your blog and find something that cheer me up and make me find my way again! So.. Thanks! you are really amazing!
Jana from Colombia :)
So glad to hear it inspired people. Best of luck!
This is a beautiful piece of writing. Acting is certainly not your only talent. I believe that English is not your first language, unless I am wrong? If so, your writing is even more impressive. Thank you for this.
Great post ! What matters the most is what we are living right now. As Kevin Spacey said inside the Actor’s Studio : “There is no price out there…”
Your post reminds me of the last words in Into the Wild : “Happiness is only real when shared”.
Hey Shanice , quick question…. Is being part of SAG-AFTRA useful for the O1 visa? I read that you need “Employment in an significant position in an organization related to your field” . Is the SAG thing enough or do you need something bigger?
It’s not necessary, but you do need a letter from SAG saying they’ve reviewed your entire O1 case and agree that you are exceptional ;) Your lawyer should know all about this, let me know if you need a good one, and I’ll put you in touch with mine.
Wow, thank you so much! I will when I’m ready. Is he/she Dutch or American?
Hello! I am currently on a J1 visa and I want to be an actress too! I will stay in the USA for two years. I did some theater back in my country and right now I am taking acting lessons.
I feel lost and I don’t know what to do. Could you give me an advice?