No, You Don’t Have to Work Harder: The Truth About Finding Success

Work harder. Never give up. Believe in yourself. Get out of bed earlier. Shout self-affirmations in the mirror. Adapt the habits of “highly successful” people…

How many times have we heard those things? In award speeches, articles, self-help books… All those who have made it seem to imply this: If you just work hard enough, long enough and believe in yourself, you will be successful.

But, like…will you though?

I can’t disagree entirely. It’s not that these things don’t contribute to success. They can. But they get way more credit than they should, overshadowing some much just as if not more valuable ingredients. You see, all these golden nuggets have one major flaw: sample bias. A lot of successful people might subscribe to the idea that hard work equals success because they like to believe that they are where they are because they earned their place. It’s nice to think that everyone gets what they deserve, after all. But that does mean all this well-meant wisdom completely ignores the part of the Venn diagram containing those who are just as good and worked just as hard but aren’t successful. What are their thoughts? Obviously we don’t know, because we don’t hear much from those who don’t make it.

But you’re in luck! Because I have experienced spectacular failure in one career path as well as found some succes in another. I know people that have made it as well as people that haven’t gotten to where they hoped they would. And after spending decades on this planet overthinking, overanalyzing, philosophizing and most of all failing epically I have discerned that, in the end, there’s one real tip for succes that lies at the foundation of it all…

Ease.

What?

Yes. Ease. In perhaps a cruel trick of the universe I’ve found that the things that come easier to us are the things we can find most success in. I have seen it with actor-, writer-, make-up artist and filmmaking friends. I have seen it with different friends pursuing the same thing where one found success and the other less so. I have experienced – and dear Lord felt – it in my own life.

The cruellest of it all is that we can’t fake ease. We can tell ourselves that we’re cool and we’re chill and it’s all easy but if we don’t deep down also believe – nay, know – this to be true, it still won’t work.  Perhaps cruel is not the right word. It just is.

However, there are some things you can do. Things that not only help you find success but perhaps most importantly help you pursue it in a healthier, saner way. Things that help keep you a happy person.

So, here goes…

Read the rest at TinyBuddha.com or read below…

March 8th, 2022|Categories: Amsterdam, Los Angeles||1 Comment

Check Out “Other,” My Metaphorical Short Starring Anna Drijver & Iris van Herpen couture

Creepy, sad and magical, ”Other” is a metaphorical short film that nobody can figure out the genre of. And I don’t mind! It’s its own little thing. I wrote, produced and directed it (all according to rules of course) during one of the first Corona lockdowns. Starring a transformed Anna Drijver (Undercover, Bride Flight) and featuring an amazing dress by the unparalleled Iris van Herpen, it premiered at Imagine Festival 2021. This self-funded project with a “budget” of 1500 euros stars all first-time child actors and was made possible by the entire cast and crew volunteering their time and talent. Interpretations vary wildly, and I love hearing them all.

So, go watch “Other” below and tell me: What did you get from it?

March 3rd, 2022|Categories: Amsterdam, News|Tags: , , |0 Comments

12 Years Later: What Really Happens to All the Aspiring Actors in LA

I was 18 when I first set foot in Los Angeles. I was on a road trip with my family and I didn’t see much but the horrible tourist sites, yet I knew I’d be back one day, to pursue my dreams of being a Hollywood actress. And I did go back. At 19 I took off on my own to spend a summer in LA doing acting classes. I had the time of my life and returned at 20 to do the same thing. At 22 – after attaining my BSc and working full-time for a year – I returned again, this time for eight months in pursuit of an agent and O1-B visa. It didn’t work. At 23 – after one final three month trip and nine months of waiting – I finally moved to the promised land.

Last August 17 I turned 31. That means I now have known many aspiring actors in Los Angeles for over 13 years. This realization more or less coincided with the news of one of them booking a series regular role in a sitcom. Of just one of them having that elusive proverbial breakthrough. I started thinking: what has happened to all the other aspiring actor friends I’ve met over the years? What do the lives of these dedicated dreamers look like after 10+ years in LA? Wouldn’t that be interesting to share? We read the succes stories of actors who made it plenty. But that’s not a very representative sample. What happens to the the ones not in the news? To the other people that packed up their lives into their car and drove from Ohio to LA? The other people who went through the im-migraine-tion process to get the O1-B visa? The other people who left everything they knew behind for a chance to be a working actor?

Of course, I can’t claim to bring a completely representative sample either, as I’m sure I myself have been a biased selection tool while navigating LA. A Dutch girl on a pink motorcycle with ladybug helmet isn’t for everyone, after all. On top of that I switched from acting to writing pretty quickly after moving to LA.

But I can give you a more complete picture than what the stories of successful actors in the news paint. I can tell you what happened to the people I met in all those acting, improv and audition classes. The people I bunked with in dorm rooms of dingy guest houses. The people I met at casting director workshops, networking events, or through Facebook groups. Even on OkCupid dates.

I can tell you what happened to my friends.

So, here it goes…

August 19th, 2019|Categories: Amsterdam, Los Angeles|Tags: , , |12 Comments

Oh, Dear LA Actors: Why Casting A Voice-Over Made Me Sad

This week I was casting for voice-over actors in Los Angeles and it left me feeling sad, bittersweet and whole mix of conflicting emotions that may or may not have to do with my impending period and certainly have to do with my having been an actress in LA myself. Why would finding an American voice-over actor ever make one feel sad, you may wonder – periods aside? I shall explain.

September 6th, 2018|Categories: Amsterdam|Tags: , , |1 Comment

Why I Stopped Blogging, Acting and Living in LA and Yet This is A Happy Post

Hi! Remember me? Maybe not since it’s been two full years + nine days since I’ve posted, and I’ve accumulated some epidermal wisdom aka wrinkles in the process. So what the f took me so long? Well, various things. I started this blog as a 21 (!) year girl who wanted – correction: was obsessed with/desperately needed – to move to Los Angeles to become an actress. I started it during a time when blogs were fairly new and not everyone above 11 and their dog wrote op-eds on TV show episodes yet. I chronicled everything from visa drama to acting classes to motorcycle accidents, and tried to help other artists who wanted to move to Los Angeles. Fast-forward and I’m now a 29 (!!) year old woman who lives in Amsterdam, is not pursuing acting anymore and has a lot more perspective and mental stability – most of the time anyway. So, what’s the story? Have I become a bitter quitter and is this gonna be a “just give up already” post?

Nuh-uh!

This is gonna be a “know thyself” post that will help you find true happiness and eternal bliss. Kidding. But if you’re someone who’s die-hard pursuing something it might help you reflect and make yourself a little more content. Still a lofty promise, perhaps, but lemme explain…

April 9th, 2018|Categories: Amsterdam, Los Angeles|Tags: , , , |11 Comments